Remember in school when they gave you those beer goggles? They would tell us, ‘this is what it’s like after having just two beers.’ You put them on and you start stumbling, walking into walls; and you go, ‘Holy shit. Where do you drink? This is absolute bullshit. This isn’t true at all.’ That’s what your perception is like when you grow up and realize that half of what they taught you your whole life is bullshit: Santa Clause is watching me, you can’t print it if it’s not true, I’ll use algebra in real life, Columbus was a hero, cops are my friends, pot leads to heroin; oh god, it’s like drinking two beers. I can barely stand up.